Listen, I’ve learned a thing or two about phones — mostly that I should never give my number to Donald Trump. When my digits went public, I took that phone and smashed it to pieces faster than I can say, ‘Bless your heart.’ This case? Oh, it’s built for survival. No need to grab a golf club and go full ‘Baby Graham Smash’ when you drop it — I’ve got you covered.
It’s shock-absorbing, Southern-tough, and scandal-proof. Unlike my last phone, this one won’t need to be obliterated after a Trump tweetstorm. Carry it proudly and remember: this is what redemption looks like in silicone form.
Product Features:
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3D wrap design for total protection — even from unwanted presidential shoutouts
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UV protection, because my baby face deserves good lighting
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Durable outer shell tougher than my phone’s tragic past
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Shock-absorbing silicone liner for all your dramatic drops
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Built to survive polls, scandals, and rogue phone numbers
Care Instructions:
Wipe it clean like I wiped my number off the face of the earth — firm, fast, and with no regrets.
EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY
Product information: Generic brand, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC
Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Blank product sourced from South Korea
Care instructions: Clean with a soft damp cotton or microfiber cloth (add a drop of dish soap if needed).
