This is the sticker equivalent of my Quantico speech, loud, unapologetic, and confusing to people who still think “Nordic pagan” is a skincare brand. Slap this on your laptop, ammo can, water bottle, or minivan and turn every surface into a miniature culture war. One glance and everyone knows you are not here for beige bureaucracy. You are here for beards, backbone, and civilization-level conversations.
Is it satire, is it serious, or is it both, like my entire career. That is the magic. It is clean enough for Sunday school parking lots, spicy enough for the group chat, and just edgy enough that your woke coworker will need a moment.
Product Features:
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Kiss cut design for easy peel and stick activism
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Weatherproof vinyl, because I do not melt under pressure
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Glossy finish so bright it outshines my approval ratings
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One size fits all, just like my campaign promises
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Slap it on your laptop, water bottle, gun safe, or your enemy’s car
Care Instructions:
Apply it like you’d launch an op, clean surface, firm pressure, and absolute commitment.
EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY
Product information: Generic brand, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC
Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Blank product sourced from Japan (Printify Choice)
Care instructions: Use a soft, clean and dry cloth to gently brush any dust or dirt off from the center of the sticker outwards.
