“Stick with Schiff”

Let’s face it: I’m clingy. Whether it’s hearings, headlines, or hot takes, I’m sticking around. This glossy kiss-cut sticker is perfect for laptops, water bottles, or anything that needs a little political “oomph.” Like me, it’s weatherproof — because I don’t melt under pressure, not even when Twitter is on fire.

Slap this baby-faced version of me on your gear and let the world know you appreciate the finer things in political drama. I’m basically your emotional support sticker now.

Product Features:

• Kiss-cut design for easy peel-and-stick activism

• Weatherproof vinyl, because I don’t melt under pressure

• Glossy finish so bright it outshines my approval ratings

• One size fits all—just like my campaign promises

• Slap it on your laptop, water bottle, or your enemy’s car

Care Instructions:
“Wipe me down like you’d wipe away those awkward testimony transcripts — quick, gentle, and no regrets.”