“Stick It to My Segment” - Greg Gutfeld

This kiss-cut masterpiece is the mobile version of my face: compact, confident, and inexplicably magnetic to attention. Peel, slap, and suddenly your laptop’s pulling higher numbers than my punchlines on a Tuesday.

Weatherproof and glossy, it survives rain, rage, and that one coworker who thinks feelings are facts. Tag your water bottle, your notebook, or the nearest narrative. I approve this message, mostly because it’s me.

Product Features (in Greg’s voice)

• Kiss-cut design for easy peel-and-stick activism

• Weatherproof vinyl, because I don’t melt under pressure

• Glossy finish so bright it outshines my approval ratings

• One size fits all—just like my campaign promises

• Slap it on your laptop, water bottle, or your enemy’s car

Care Instructions

Wipe like a hot mic: gentle pass, maximum clarity, zero apologies.