Protect the 99% (of Your Phone). This phone case is a revolution in your pocket. It doesn’t just protect your device—it protects democracy, your text messages, and the last photo you took of your cat. When you grip this, you’re gripping the future.
Shock-absorbing, scandal-resistant, and built tougher than my Brooklyn coffee order.
Product Features:
3D Wrap for full-coverage—like my talking points
UV protection—because Bernie doesn’t fade in sunlight
Durable shell stronger than any billionaire’s ego
Shock-absorbing liner for when poll numbers drop
Dual-layer protection: like Medicare AND Medicaid
Care Instructions: “Wipe it down like Wall Street wipes sweat during a tax hearing: carefully and often.”
EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY
Product information: Generic brand, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC
Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Blank product sourced from South Korea
Care instructions: Clean with a soft damp cotton or microfiber cloth (add a drop of dish soap if needed).
