Here’s a weatherproof declaration of loyalty that clings longer than a news cycle. Slap it on laptops, water bottles, or the nearest narrative. It’s glossy, bold, and—like me—stubbornly photogenic under any lighting.
Consider this your portable podium. Apply once, declare forever. If it outshines my approval ratings, that’s just good optics.
Product Features (in my voice)
Kiss-cut design for easy peel-and-stick activism
Weatherproof vinyl, because I don’t melt under pressure
Glossy finish so bright it outshines my approval ratings
One size fits all—just like my campaign promises
Slap it on your laptop, water bottle, or your enemy’s car
Care Instructions
Wipe with a damp cloth—like smoothing a message before prime time.
