“Peel & Pray Patriot” -Speaker, Mike Johnson

This sticker isn’t just a sticker — it’s a revival on vinyl. Slap this on your laptop, water bottle, or pew hymnal and you’re basically testifying that baby-faced leadership is adorable and divinely inspired. Weatherproof and ready to resist secular smudges, this sticker is for true believers in faith-based cuteness.

Stick me on your stuff, and every glance will remind you that God works in mysterious ways — sometimes by making the Speaker of the House look like he’s about to demand juice and crackers at recess.

Product Features:

• Kiss-cut design for easy peel-and-stick activism

• Weatherproof vinyl, because I don’t melt under pressure

• Glossy finish so bright it outshines my approval ratings

• One size fits all—just like my campaign promises

• Slap it on your laptop, water bottle, or your enemy’s car

Care Instructions:
“Wipe it clean with faith, elbow grease, and maybe a baby wipe if you’re feeling sanctified.”