Protect your phone like I protect freedom — boldly, unapologetically, and in high-definition. This isn’t just a case, it’s a statement: you’re ready for battle, whether it’s a barstool debate or a comment section firefight.
Dual-layer armor means your phone will survive drops, polls, and the occasional liberal uncle tossing it across the Thanksgiving table.
Product Features:
3D Wrap for full-coverage designs — just like my scandals
UV protection, because my image deserves sunlight
Durable outer shell tougher than my debate prep
Shock-absorbing silicone liner for emotional support
Dual-layer construction — built to survive polls, drops, and tantrums
Care Instructions: "Clean it like you clean your rifle — carefully, and never with mayonnaise."
