This is more than a phone case — it’s armor. Dual-layer construction shields your device like I shield the West from Brussels bureaucrats. Every call, every scroll, every tweet: wrapped in baby-faced defiance.
Drop it, toss it, argue with it — it won’t break. Kind of like me, only less likely to get into Twitter feuds.
Product Features (in my voice):
3D Wrap for full-coverage designs — just like my scandals
UV protection, because my image deserves sunlight
Durable outer shell tougher than my debate prep
Shock-absorbing silicone liner for emotional support
Dual-layer construction — built to survive polls, drops, and tantrums
Care Instructions: “Wipe it down like I wipe out opposition talking points: fast and smug.”
